I need a vacation. Everyone I work with is either going on, or has been on (twice in the case of my admin assistant) a winter vacation. I am tired, I am worn out, and unfortunately I am also poor. So I am stuck here. I guess it could be worse, I could be back home in the -30 nasty weather. But I still need a vacation.

I need to win a lottery.

Why do I do this?

Cleaned up my desk drawer at work today. Came across on old Biovail envelope clipped closed. Inside was the reminder of the worst days of my life. not sure why I do this stuff to myself, but instead of holding onto happy reminders I have kept the unused return portion of my airport shuttle that I never ended up needing. I kept my full coffee punch card that is good for a free coffee at Stollery that I will never get to use. I kept the East Side Mario's receipt for the dinner that Sharon and I had the night Kaity died. I kept the last cash advance paperwork we got from the social worker.

My day was going fine, now it's not. For a perfect life I am very sad.